Some Clever Name
by CandyIsYummyNomNom
Summary: "What is a gangster?" You may wonder. "How is a gangster named?" You may muse. "Who is the gangsterest of them all?" You may philosophize. Twilight has asked these questions for years... Will they be answered? Crack.


**A/N: Yo dawg! I be the Candy Is Yummy, and I here tonight to tells ya I got swag! *gets beat up immediately by several gangster men, leaving me a bloody pulp* Never mind... *faints***

**By the way, first thing over a thousand words. And it's this thing. Grreeeeaaaatttttuuuhhhhh. -_-**

**BTW, I don't own My Little Pony. If I did, then I would claim all the earned money from any assosiating product mine, become rich, take over the world, and force new seasons of Kim Possible and Invader Zim! AND GET THE JUNGLE MOVIE. MWAHAHAHAHA. *gets killed***

Twilight Sparkle burst up out of her bed in a jolt, with a giant, happy grin on her face.

Oh joy! Rapture! It was time for studying!

The unicorn had her brush float to her, as she tamed her purple locks, combing out the knots and tangles that she had obtained during her slumber. She brushed her maine furiously, hoping to quickly tame her out of control hair. She couldn't ever miss studying! It was her favorite thing in the world! Even when her world was in it's worst condition, she always managed to find time for her precious studying.

Twilight ran downstairs, using her magic induced telekinesis to carry her parchment and feather pen. She loved her studies! It was beautiful field, as it allowed her to gain knowledge and wisdom! None understood her passions, which led her to bed less than happy with her fellow ponies. They just didn't understand her passions and joys of knowing things they didn't know. Well, humbug to them!

She began soaking the words from her books; scribbling down notes on the subjects she was absorbing into her egg head brain. She documented everything that stood out, and minor-yet major-details. It was the most exhilarating thing on the planet! All of this knowledge was given to her, the vast world of intelligence! She let a loud, dorky giggle as she continued her dear studies.

"Hey, Twilight!" Spike greeted with a joyous tone in his voice . She turned to him, giving him a good, hard glare straight in his eyes, seeming as if she could just send the devil into his soul. How dare her interrupt her _precious_ studying time! It was the most important thing in her near purposeless life! All of the reading she had been doing on the philosophy of the most amazing unicorn that has ever existed, Star Swirled the Bearded! She felt her purple eye twitch, adrenaline rushing through her veins...

"BOY, I BE STUDYIN'." Twilight shouted, turin' on her gangster swag, "IF YOU COME TALKIN' TO ME WHILE I BE STUDYIN', I WILL CUT YOU." The unicorn got all in Spike's face, as he cowered at her attitude. This was positively terrifying! He had heard of these accursed "gangstas" from the teenaged dragons he had once been acquainted with. They had claimed they were dangerous, and told him of several slum-based dramas. Spike cowered at Twilight's sudden hood-like attitude, as she gave him a piercing, acidic look.

"O-okay, Twilight! I-I'm sorry!" Spike managed to gush out of his mouth, despite his large amount of stuttering. He soon after ran away from the new-found ghetto girl, praying she would be normal soon.

"You betta' run." Twilight whispered in a self satisfied tone. Immediately, Twilight's attitude changed back to normal. She gave herself a small smile, then returned to her beloved studies. Once the unicorn had been settled in her chair, happily reading her books, an old foe arrived in her library. A threatening smile was plastered onto the opposing unicorns face as she walked towards Twilight, who was unaware of her presence.

"Greetings, Twilight Sparkle," The rival mockingly purred, causing Twilight to let out a blood curdling scream, and landing on the floor with a loud "bonk", "It is I, Trixie! You do remember me, do you not?" The boastful unicorn roared. '_Her ego obviously hasn't changed,' _Twilight thought sardonically, '_I only have one chance with this,' _Twilight knew what she had to do. Twilight immediately turned her gangster swag back on, and turned her old rival.

"GIRL, WHAT YOU DOIN' HERE?" Twilight hastily demanded, making sure her tone was threatening and venomous, "YOU KNOW THIS IS MY LIBRARY. YOU AIN'T ALLOWED HERE!" Twilight stated, as she began to tower above Trixie, giving her a cold, hard stare.

Trixie gave her an irked glance as she gave out a large grunt, "The Great And Powerful Trixie will stay where she is," She calmly replied, placing her hooves firm on the ground, "Trixie will not leave until..." Then, suddenly, she removed her signature cape to reveal some tight bling, and some gangster articals of clothing. She then removed her hat to show her now shaven head. Trixie gave Twilight a devious smirk, and continued her previous words, "YOU FACE TRIXIE IN A GANGSTA OFF, 'AIGHT?"

Twilight was absolutely dumbfounded. She was the most ganger thing she had ever seen in her life! Her golden tooth was shining, her swag was off the charts, she knew every gang sign known to man... She was trippin'! She shook her head! She had to beat this chick!

"I except yo challenge, fool." Twilight hastily decided. She was the biggest gangster in all of Ponyville! She knew she could beat this good for nothing chump!

"Thas' tight," Trixie replied smugly, " Come with Trixie to the hippest gangsta crew of them all."

"Ya' know I will." Twilight responded calmly, but still made sure her tone was toxic. She had to win the gangster off. If she didn't, it would be the end of her. It would be the end of her gangster legend! No, no, no! '_I have to win... I have to_ win_!_ '

The rivials exited the library, only the to enter the Hall of Gangsters in Ponyville, the most hood place in all of Equestria. There awaited them, Sapphire Shores, Zecora, and Pinkie Pie, who were sitting at a long table, clip boards and pencils were in front of each of them. Upon the duo's entrance, they looked up, soaking in the traits of each of them. '_Great,_' Twilight sarcastically thought, '_First impressions are always so glorious._' She let out a puff of air, and subtlety rolled her eyes.

"Yo, Trix," Sapphire Shore half way shouted, signaling Trixie to come over, "This dweeb is yo opponent?" Sapphire scoffed, as her eyelids drooped.

"I wouldn't be so sure about callin' Twilight a dweeb," Pinkie responded as-a-matter-of-factly, "She's the tightest pony in all of Ponyville! At least, when she lets herself be."

"I do agree," Zecora agreed, "Twilight is more gangsta than she. Her amazing sag is what gives her swag." Zecora added, referring to Twilight's... Magically? Yeah; magically appearing baggy pants, which, I might add, were pretty pointless, since they were almost completely on the ground, barely being suspended by her back hooves

"Oh, 'das true." Sapphire Shores noted, looking at her super baggy pants, "But Trixie does have some nice bling..."

"But her pants!" Pinkie pointed out, with a look of absolute disgust painted on her face, "They're completely pulled up! Up I say!"

"True 'dat, so I might vote Twilight, for her pants being phat." Zecora wisely critiqued, "What is bling that latch, without sagging pants to match? But Twilight lacks bling, which is the thing..."

Sapphire Shores and Pinkie Pie nodded in unison. Twilight felt adrenaline rush through her veins . What if she lost? What if her sag wasn't good enough? What if she was too dorky? She took a good look at Trixie, her smug grin, her half lidded eyes, her overly confident stature... No! She couldn't let this chick win! Not while she's around and alive.

"Yo, dawg!" Twilight shouted towards the judges, "She don't got any swag! She's swagless! Look at her! She don't got the posture or the attitude of a true gangsta!" referring to her rather snoot-from-a-rich-family stature.

Sapphire Shores studied Trixie for a moment, "You right, Twilight." She responded thoughtfully, "And 'dat gangsta smack? I like it, girl. I vote Twilight fo' appearance!"

"As well do I, and not with a sigh." Zocora gladly agreed, a genuinely pleased look rested upon her face.

"Me, too! Me, too!" Pinkie screeched, as she bounced up from her chair, filled with excitement. Twilight stared at the judges in shcok. She... She had won. A grin slowly form on her face, and gladly turned toward her rival, "HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW TRIXIE? I JUST BEAT YOU!"

Trixie glared at Twilight, contempt written on her face, "Not for long, Twilight Sparkle," The blue unicorn mumbled, "Not for long..."

**TO BE CONTINUED?**

Meh, depends on feedback.


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